Southwest Flight 1065

Our flight was 30 minutes delayed this morning because of a "broken seat." For most people, this isn't a big deal, but if you're like me, the minute you hear "broken seat" you immediately start thinking of all the possible translations:

• Engine trouble
• Problems with the landing gear
• Malfunctioning filange
• NO filange (c'mon people, I know you've all seen the last episode of Friends)

The airline industry can't fool me. "Broken seat" is really just a euphamism -- something to make us feel better about the delay. They wouldn't dare reveal the real problem with the plane. And it's a good thing too, otherwise I probably wouldn't get on.

Once we got on the plane, there were several seats blocked off with signs that read "Do Not Occupy." This lead me to believe that they really did have an issue with the seats after all. Evidentally though, the attempts to fix them were unsuccessful.

Emily and I found seats somewhere neat the back and setled in for what was estimated to be about a 2 hour flight. The flight attendants went through their usual routine where they randomly point in every direction (presumeably so that we know where the emergency exits are), then demonstrate all of the steps required to securely fasten the air with a seatbelt.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think this is a mightly useful thing to know how to do, and I for one am grateful for these potentially life-saving demonstrations.

The Pilot was unlike any pilot I've ever had before. He was uncharicteristicly funny. He made all of the usual announcements, but after mentioning that smoking was not permitted on the flight, he added "smoking in the lavratory is a $2000 fine. If you want to spend that much on a plane ticket, you fly US Air."

When it came to serious stuff though, he was all business. "In the event that we experience a sudden change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the ceiling above you. If you are traveling with a child or someone who needs assistance, put on your own mask first, and then assist the person traveling with you. If you are traveling with more than one child, pick your favorite."

HA! "Pick your favorite." I love that. Very amusing, and it helps put the passengers at ease before take-off.

And eventually we did take off, and after somewhat of a rough ascent, the plane leveled and we had a reasonably comfortable flight. The Vanilla Wafers and package of 7 slightly salted peanuts that constituted our lunch (or more officially, our "in-flight snack") left a little something to be desired, but hey -- Southwest flight, you get what you pay for.

My eyes are blurry now, and my stomach is churning, probably because I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. My body is telling me it's time to nap, and that means it's time to end this blog entry.

Comments welcome.