Happy Thanksgiving

I wish I had a wonderful turkey recipe to post for everyone this Thanksgiving, but unfortunatley I don't. Since we just moved from Baltimore to Seattle, I'm completely out of my element. I don't have my pots and pans, I don't have my spices... I don't have my KOSHER SALT! You really can't cook anything well without kosher salt.

So this Thanksgiving, Em and I took the easy way out. We went to the local grocery store and bought a bunch of pre-seasoned, pre-packaged Thanksgiving Day type items (stuffing, potatoes, turkey, etc).

So that's really all I've got to say for today. It's a shame; Thanksgiving is such a food-centric day. It had potential to make for a great blog entry if only the timing were a bit better for me. Oh well.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Microsoft

Well... it's been far too long since I've posted, but I figure this is worth it (even if it isn't about cooking).

I got a job with Microsoft, and Emily and I will be moving out to Seattle in three weeks!

This is part of the reason that my blog as been so neglected. I was spending an awful lot of my free studying for the interviews.

But now that that's over with, I'm hopful that I will once again be able to start blogging new and exciting recipes for everyone. My goal this time around is to do a blog post at "reasonable" intervals -- something like once per week.

I'm also planning to start a technical blog, and I will of course post the address of that one, on this one, once it's ready to go (but I'm not sure exactly when that will be).

Ok, that's all for now.
Pray for our flights!

Wonder Slacks

I'm going to buy "World Famous Black-Elastic Wonder Slacks"

Yeah!

Hurricane Katrina

I don't have much food-related to blog about right now (as if that weren't obvious from the fact that I have posted in approximately forever), but that's ok. There are more important things to think about right now, like those who have been affected by Hurricane Katrina.

I encourage you to make a donation to IOCC to support the victims of the hurricane. You can do so by clicking on the banner ad below:

Potato Soup

I don't know why, but I'm often most inspired to cook during a fasting period when I'm not eating any meat. This is a shame because most of the dishes I come up with would be a lot better with meat. Take my Potato Soup recipe for example. It'd be much better if I cooked it with a chicken stock base (instead of vegetable broth) and with chopped up bits of bacon (not to mention a little bit of bacon grease).

But alas! We're right smack in the middle of the Dormition Fast (which I know everyone is aware of and following very strictly -- HAHA), so my Potato Soup recipe does not have any of those fun, flavorful, meaty ingredients that we all love so much.

To be fair, the soup contains both oil and dairy, so it technically doesn't adhere to the strict fast anyway, but gosh darn it this Blog is about cooking! And I have an obligation to my fans (both of them) to post high-quality, FoodNetwork-like, Alton Brown caliber recipes! But since I'm not anywhere near that good of a Chef, you'll have to take what you can get, ok folks?

So here we go: Potato Soup (w/ a slight touch of BAM!).

Ingredients:

• About 34 oz of Vegetable Broth.
• 1/2 Cup of 2% Milk + 1/2 Cup of Half-n-Half (I'm totally guessing; I didn't measure).
  
• 4 to 5 Med/Large Sized Potatoes (Yukon Gold, or White Round should work fine). And please people, avoid the sack potatoes -- we're all about quality on this blog.
• 3 Large Stocks of Celery, finely chopped.
• 3 Carrots, chopped into fairly thin discs.
• A bunch of Green Onions (the more the merrier I always say -- they're mild anyway).
• 4 to 5 (or 20 to 30) cloves of garlic, diced.
• 2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil.
• 2 Tablespoons of Butter or Margarine.
  
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Cayenne Pepper (or more of you like -- it adds a real nice kick).
• Salt and Pepper to taste.
• Shredded Chedder Cheese (for garnish).
• Sour Cream (for garnish).
  

Directions:

1. In a 6 Quart Stock Pot, add the Vegetable Broth, Celery, Green Onions, and Carrots. Heat on medium.
2. While the broth is heating, cube the potatoes (no need to skin them -- that's where are the vitamins are anyway).
3. Add the potatoes to the stock pot as you cut them. Towards the end, kick the heat up so that the broth hits boiling. The idea is to break down the celery, onions, and carrots and get those flavors infused in the broth.
4. Now is also a fine time to add Salt (kosher please) and Pepper as well as the Diced Garlic. I went with about a Tablespoon and a half of salt, and maybe a teaspoon of pepper.
5. Add the Diary (Butter/Margarine and Milk/Cream) now. It's OK if the soup seems watery. It will thicken significantly as it cooks, so don't be afraid to add more milk or cream if you think it needs it (remember: no meat in this dish, so the cream is critical for flavor).
6. Add the Olive Oil, and Cayenne Pepper.
7. Once the soup has boiled for 5 to 10 minutes, turn the heat down, and let the soup simmer for at least 30 minutes (the longer the better though).
8. Once the soup begins to thicken, taste it. Adjust the spices and cream/broth ratio as necessary.
9. Garish individual bowls with shredded chedder cheese and a dallop of sour cream.
10. Say a prayer.
11. Eat and enjoy!

Comments welcome.

WIKI

Finally!

I figured out what a Wiki is! I'd been seeing it all over the Internet as I searched for Linux-related documentation to get my wireless networking up and running. I could tell that it was some kind of a help/tutorial document, but I could not for the life of me, figure out what Wiki meant or stood for.

I finally got tired of wondering and good old Google came to the rescue.

Wiki is an abbreviation that stands for "What I know Is." It's a website (or other hypertext document collection) that allows users to add content, as on an Internet forum, but also allows anyone to edit the content. "Wiki" also refers to the collaborative software used to create such a website.

Very interesting concept. Perhaps I should start my own Wiki as a sort of spin-off of this blog. I could post "What I know Is" about cooking, and others could edit the content adding their own Wiki ("What I Know Is").

Very cool.

Goodbye Apartment

I'm sad. We've moved, and our inner city, ghetto, subsidised housing apartment is now just a page in the history books. There were so many things that annoyed me about that place that I can't really understand why I'm sad to leave. Let me re-cap all of the things that went wrong in Broadway. Maybe that will help me feel better about our new place.

1. We were initially told the wrong monthly rental price. The actual rental price turned out to be $100 more than what we were told originally. We didn't find this out until about a week before move-in.
2. We were told that we would get two parking permits that would allow us to park our car in the apartment complex's garage. We only ever got one. In October, they told me I'd get the second one in November, in November, they told me January. In January, they told me February. Then I gave up.
3. A pipe burst in the bathroom the first week we were there. It flooded our bathroom and got the carpet in the living room soaking wet. I had to physically plug the leak with my hand while Emily called emergency maintenance.
4. The emergency maintenance number in the Welcome book we had was wrong. Emily somehow managed to find the right number, and maintenance eventually did come.
5. Emily had a package of contacts delivered to our apartment. We never got a notice in our mailbox saying something like "You have a package. Please come to the leasing office to pick it up." We never got a phone call, no email, nothing! They had the package for over two weeks! Had Emily not called to ask, she probably would have never gotten them. Utterly ridiculous! When she mentioned this to management, they reply was "We don't really like holding packages for people. We prefer that our residents have them delivered elsewhere."
6. Everytime someone came into the main lobby, a gush of wind was generated by the door, which caused our door to rattle. Believe it or not, this happened about every 10 minutes.
7. Everytime someone held the door open for more than 5 seconds, an alarm would sound (something like "whoop..........whoop..........whoop..........whoop." After about 5 more seconds, the alarm's urgency would pick up to something like "whoop...whoop...whoop...whoop...whoop." Keep in mind that this alarm was approximately as loud as sitting front row at a Metallica concert (though, I must admit the alarm was probably more musically gifted than Metallica ).
8. Sometime during the first few weeks of living in this apartment, the closet door in the bathroom popped off of its hinges.
9. The air conditioning unit leaked and semi-flooded our laundry room (on more than one occassion).
10. The children in our neighorbood were, for some reason, obsessed with our apartment (probably because of our "elegant double wooden doors). They would randomly (at any hour) knock on our door and ask to see our apartment. Emily make the mistake of letting them in once. They started looking through our photots, sat down on the couch, and asked questions about everything for approximately 2 hours. We could not get them to leave.
11. We stopped letting them in our apartment, but they didn't stop the knocking. They knew when we were home, and they would knock incessantly on the door (for like 10 minutes) trying to get us to open up. We didn't.
12. The children were like vultures when we tried to get into our complex. They would all huddle around the door, and when I'd swipe my swipe card they would all rush in in front of me. No "excuse me", no "thank you", just a bunch of rude children pushing and shoving their way past me.
13. There were (what Emily believes were rats or mice) living in our bedroom walls. Personally, I think it was a muscrat because the scratching sounds they kept us awake at night were WAY to loud to have come from any mouse.
14. The people who lived above us had elephant feet, which I know is a common problem for apartment dwellers with people living above them, but these people took it to a whole new level. Plus, their kitchen was right above our bedroom, so everytime they moved a chair (which turned out to be about every 10 mintues between the hours of 10pm and 5am) we heard it.
15. The punks up on the 4th floor were trouble-makers. They had their friend living with them, who would park in our apartment garage without a permit (and never got towed I might add). And one night around 3am, they pulled the fire alarm in our building and we all had to evacuate. I did not enjoy that.

So that's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure there is more. You'd think all of this re-capping would make me feel just great about leaving. But it doesn't.

Maybe it's because it was our first place together, and I know we can never get that back. Maybe it's because the apartment design (while completly impracticaly) was just really cool. Maybe it's becuase we had a laundry room right in our apartment that was very convenient (not in a dungeon like our new place). I dunno... I'm glad to be getting away from all of the annoyances, but I'm still going to miss that place. We can't walk to Church anymore. That's a bummer.

Well I've done nothing but complain up to this point, so maybe I should end on a positive note about our new place. It has a deck. This is a good thing. A deck means we can buy a charcoal grill, and this is a very

So hopefully, before long, I'll have some new recipes for everyone. And if all goes well, perhaps I'll have some good grilling recipes. Expect a steep learning curve though. Grilling, from what I understand, is not that easy right off that bat.

Comments welcome.

Post

I will post again. Really, I will.

It's just that I'm moving, and everything is everwhere and I've been eating out of boxes (shameful really).

So I don't really have any good recipes to post.... except for a fruit smoothie recipe, but I don't have time to get into that right now.

Comments welcome.

People

People are stupid.

I'm ashamed to be one.

A Sheep's Life

8 & 13 (and possibly some others) have started a blog. It's called A Sheep's Life, and judging by the comments (or lack thereof) their blog needs more readers.

For a relatively young blog, there are quite a lot of posts, so it's evident that these sheep like to write!

So head on over to http://asheepslife.blogspot.com where you can follow (in real time) their cross-country roadtrip adventure!

shmily

SHMILY

Why don't I annoy myself?

Last night I was in the kitcken (cooking of course), and I heard that Dr. Pepper commerical come on TV -- you know, the one where that guy and girl are in a restaurant and he's trying to talk to her, and she starts sipping a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and this music starts playing in the background:

du duuu duu du du

And every time the guy says something, to her, it just sounds like "Fa nah meh nah"

You know the one? Of course you do!

So anyway, I was singing that song b/c I find it so catchy, and I was going:

du duuu duu du du (Fa nah meh nah)
du duuu duu du du (Fa nah meh nah)
du duuu duu du du (Fa nah meh nah)
du duuu duu du du (Fa nah meh nah)

And after about 5 minutes of this (give or take 10 minutes), my wife shouts from the living room "SHUT UP!"

So I said "Why do I annoy you but I don't annoy myself?"

And she said "I don't know!"

Honey BBQ Chicken

This recipe is excellent and not difficult at all.

Ingredients:

• Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (I used 3 b/c I was cooking for 3 people)
• BBQ sauce (your favorite brand from the grocery store is fine)
• Honey (about 1 - 2 tablespoons per chicken breasts -- eyeball it)
• 1 can of beer (darker is better, but any kind will do)
  

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
   
2. In a bowl or a large plastic zip-lock bag (what I like to use) marinate the chicken in a BBQ sauce/honey mixture for about 2 - 3 hours (longer is better). How much BBQ sauce? Doesn't matter really; just make sure the chicken is thoroughly covered. Be liberal though, b/c we're going to make use of some of the leftover sauce later (so there need to be leftover sauce).
3. Heat and iron skillet over medium-high heat until the pan is evenly hot throughout (the handle should be quite hot to the touch).
4. Drizzle in a little vegetable or olive oil into the pan, and let it get really hot. This should help a little bit with sticking and also add a little extra flavor.
5. Use tongs to place the chicken breasts in the iron skillet (be sure to shake off any excess sauce first). Sear on both sides 3 to 4 minutes (might want to open a window).
6. Place the seared chicken in the oven at 375 for about 12 to 15 minutes (keep an eye on it; you don't want its internal temperature to get much past 160 b/c we're going to broil it next and that will raise the temperature even more).
7. Meanwhile, take any left over Honey-BBQ sauce and pour it into the iron skillet. Now, remember that the sauce was toucing raw chicken, so we want to get this sauce to a boil to kill any "bugs" that might lurking. Also stir frequently b/c you don't want the sauce to stick.
8. Pour about 1/2 a can of beer into the BBQ sauce, and turn heat to low. We want the mixture to reduce into a nice think BBQ sauce.
9. After 12 to 15 minutes (or when the chicken has reached about 160) remove it from the oven and place on a broiling pan. Also, turn the oven to broil and move the rack to the second highest slot from the top.
10. Brush the beer-reduced, Honey-BBQ sauce onto the chicken (both sides) and place under the broiler for 3 - 4 minutes (or until the sauce begins to bubble).
11. Remove the chicken and rebrush both sides with more sauce, and place until the broiler again for another minute or two.
12. Repeat a third time if desired.
13. Double check to make sure the internal temperature of the chicken is at least 160 (165 is what you really want to be safe, but the chicken should continue cooking after it's been removed from the heat).
14. Let the chicken rest for about 5 before serving.
15. Plate with green beans or asparagus, maybe some potatoes, or cole slaw (heck, whatever you want).
16. Say a prayer.
17. Eat and enjoy!

This recipe seems long and complicated I know, but it's really not too hard, and it's well worth it.

One nice variation that I like to do is add a can of pineapple chunks (sans juice) to the chicken while it's baking in the oven. You can also pour a little of the pineapple juice into the BBQ sauce (along with the beer) while its reducing. It really adds a nice flavor.

Comments welcome.

COME ON!

You've got to be kidding me! Am I right or am I right? EVERYTHING the so-called "experts" tell us gets reversed.

Remember how raisins were considered "nature's candy"? Because of their high sugar content, many dentists warn against them?

Well, here's a shocker. Some experts now believe "Raisins may help you keep cavities away."

See for yourself: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2005-06/09/content_3061674.htm

FREAKING IDIOTS! ALL OF 'EM!

Human Side of a Holy Man

HAHAHAH! Funniest picture ever!

This is Patriarch Bartholomew spearing a cat with his staff (naturally, because after all, that's why those Orthodox Patriarchs are given staffs in the first place -- so they can kill cats with them).

As "Spiritual Leader of the World's 300 million Orthodox Christians" (seriously, where do journalists get this crap? It makes it sound like he's the equivalent of the Catholic Pope), Patriarch Bartholomew has the all-important responsibility of setting a good example for all Orthodox believers. And that he does! For what better way is there to exemplify a Christ-like life than by spearing a cat?

For all of the idiots reading my blog who thought I was being serious (you know who you are) here is the actual copy that goes along with the above photo.

"They say a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, a picture says a lot about a person -- in this case, Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew, spiritual leader of 300 million Orthodox Christians worldwide [there we go again]."

On a typically-busy afternoon at the Phanar -- the Church's ancient headquarters in Istanbul, Turkey, in between visiting dignitaries, intense meetings and solemn church services, Patriarch Bartholomew stops for a moment to play with... a cat.

He explained that a family of cats have taken shelter within the compound of the Patriarchate. 'They too are God's creatures and deserve our love.' After tickling the cat with his staff for several seconds, he jokingly commented that he should be careful what he does, as a photograph of this instance -- taken out of context -- could be misconstrued as animal abuse. 'That's all we need now,' the Patriarch laughed continued playing with his feline friend."

Comments welcome (encouraged in fact).

Honey Lemon Chicken

It's been much too long since I posted an original recipe, and since that's really what this blog is supposed to be all about, I figured it was time I get my act together.

Last night, I made Honey Lemon Chicken. This recipe sounds good, and in theory, I think it should be good. But it wasn't that good. I can't quite pinpoint why -- could have been that I overcooked the chicken, may have marinated it too long (or used too much lemon), or perhaps I the trusty ol' iron skillet would have been a better choice than the broiler.

Whatever it was, last night's dish was just average. But, like many of my recipes, I believe this one has great potential; it's just not quite there yet.

Ingredients:

• 2 boneless, skinless, chicken breasts (about 6 ounces each, already thawed)
• The juice from one lemon
• A few tablespoons of honey (2 to 3 per piece of chicken)
• A few squirts of olive oil (don't go crazy 'cause we'll be using more later)
• A touch of cumin (less than a teaspoon unless you want your chicken to smell like B.O.)
• Kosher salt (a pinch or two)
• Freshly ground black peper

Directions:

1. In a good sized bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, honey, olive oil, and cumin.
2. Marinate both pieces of chicken in the lemon/honey mixture for about 10 to 15 min (but absolutely no more than 20).
   
3. Use tongs to place each chicken breast on a broiling pan, and sprinkle with kosher salt and black pepper.
4. Place under the broiler (two slots away from the top) for about 10 minutes.
5. After 10 minutes, flip the chicken breasts over and broil for another 10 minutes.
6. Remove the boiling pan, and move the rack up to the closest spot near the broiler.
7. Flip the chicken back over and drizzle with olive oil.
8. Place back under the broiler for another 3 to 5 minutes (the idea here is to get a nice sear on the surface of the meat.).
   
9. Let the meat rest a good 5 minutes before serving (if you don't rest your meat, you might as well not even bother cooking it).
10. Say a prayer.
11. Eat and enjoy!
    

After-thoughts:

The internal temperature of poultry should be about 165 degrees Fahrenheit in order to be safe. If you get much past 170 though, the chicken will probably be a bit dry. My chicken was well past 170 by the time I finished step 8, and that might have been why I wasn't thrilled with the dish.

You might consider, broiling for only about 7 minutes on each side before doing step 8. Just be sure your instant read thermometer says the chicken is safe (you'd better have an instant read thermometer -- it's a culinary essential).

Another option might be to sear the chicken in an iron skillet. The chicken I cooked was a little bland. Cooking it in a skillet would help keep what little fat there is (from the chicken itself and from the olive oil) in the chicken breast, rather than having it drip down into the broiling pan.

Some of you might be tempted to suggest marinating the chicken longer, because generally, the longer you marinate something, the more the flavorful that something will ultimately be. In this case though, I wouldn't recommend it. Citrus tends to break meat down quickly, and if you marinate it too long, the result will be a curiously strong, citrus flavored chicken (trust me, I marinated the chicken for an hour once, and it was definitely not good).

Other than that, I'm not sure what else to try, so your comments are definitely welcome.

Michael Buble

Michael Buble is my new favorite musician. Man, this guy can really sing! His voice is amazing. Check out his web site: http://www.michaelbuble.com

And it's pronounced "Boo-blay" not "bubble."

Oh, by the way, I had lemon-honey chicken for dinner tonight (hey, this is a cooking blog... I have to weave food in here somehow right?)

Don't think. Just live, and you'll be fine.

I've been saying for years that you should take everything the "experts" from the scientific community tell you with a grain of salt because it's only a matter of time before they reverse what they originally thought.

At one time, eggs were unhealthy and a major cause of high cholesterol, then a few years later, a couple of eggs a week was thought to be very healthy. Then, somewhere along the line, they became unhealthy again, and who knows where we are at present.

The same thing is pretty much true for EVERYTHING: wine, beer, nuts, red meat, chicken, carbohydrates. Even dark chocolate in small quantities is thought to be a cancer preventitive (but don't get too excited choc-o-holics. It's only a matter of time before that verdict is reversed).

So my personal philosophy is: Just Live! Forget what you heard in the news last week, and just live your life, treating everything in moderation. Alton Brown said it best:

"...there are no bad foods, only bad eating habits. Butter is not wrong, eating a stick of it at one sitting is; sugar is not bad, eating a cup of it a day is; carbohydrates are not evil.

So enjoy your cooking, enjoy eating (and I say savor licking the batter off those beaters), but do it responsibly and with moderation."

And this goes, not only for food, but for everything in life. Why am I blogging about this? Because I just read an article online that clinched it for me. I'm am now completely and totally convinced that nothing the "experts" tells us can be taken seriously, because it's only a matter of time before they renege.

Case in point: Scientists Say Sunshine May Prevent Cancer
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050521/D8A7MPFG0.html
If that doesn't convince you I'm right, nothing will!

Comments welcome.

I think...

I think washing your hands is stupid.

American Idol

Bo Bice Rocks! I said from day one he should win, and it looks like he's going to. He's far and away the best from any season of American Idol. I'm ready to go out and buy his CD right now.

Carrie is also excellent and definitely deserves the #2 stop. Vonzell should never have even made the top 3 and Anthony should have been eliminated weeks ago.

They should have Kelly Clarkson come back as a celebrity judge. I can't wait to start Yoga next year.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree?

Discuss.

Rent vs. Buy

I know, I know. When it comes to blogging regularly (like a good blogger should) I've been failing miserably. But I feel like I have a good excuse: we're in the process of trying to find a place to live. That's pretty important right?

Problem is, we can't decide if it makes more sense to rent or to buy. The housing market here in Baltimore is just out of control. That might be good, and it might be bad. If it stays out of control, chances are good that in two years, we'd make some good money. If people all of the sudden come to their senses and are no longer willing to pay 300K for 1000 square feet of space (c'mon who are we kidding -- people (as a whole) will never come to their senses), then we might just barely brake even, or even worse: lose money.

I'm not all that concerned about a "housing bubble" because quite honestly, I don't think that's going to happen soon. However, I am concerned about something else that was pointed out to me. A lot of people who bought houses in the last 5, 7 or 10 years, got a mortgage of 5, 7 or 10 year Arm. That means that after their initial 5, 7 or 10 year, their interest rates could go up significantly. Since people tend to live outside of their means, a lot of those people will no longer be able to make their payments after their interest rates increase. Thus, they will be forced to get rid of their homes, and all of the sudden we have more houses on the market. And this is not a good thing if my goals is to make 50K in two years from Real Estate.

So the million dollar question. Does it make more sense to rent or to buy? I'm taking a poll, and I need your input!

Please consider the following:

1. It is very likely that will we only be in Baltimore for about 2 more years (though the possibility exists for 3 or 4 (tops).
2. Our monthly mortgage payment would probably be in excess of $2200! For 3/4 of that, we could get an awesome apartment.
3. I'm ultra, ultra conservative with my money and don't like to spend large sums of money ($20) at at once. A pair of pants that costs more than $20 is extravagent in my opinion.

So what does everyone think? What would you do? What have you done? And why?

Comments not only welcome, but desperately needed!

Flour Tortillas & Iron Skillets (two-in-one lesson)

I went to a small gathering tonight at June's house with some of the Church folk (and June, I must say -- very cute house and a very nice job hosting the event). Since it was just a couple of says after Cinco de Mayo, we decided to keep with the Mexican theme. Originally, I was going to make Tres Leches, but when I realized last minute that I didn't have enough eggs (shame on me for not having my "mise en place") I went with something decidedly simplier -- flour tortillas.

Flour tortillas are 100 times better than the corn tortillas that most of your are probably used to, and about 1000 times better than those hard-shell "taco shells," which indicentally, don't even exist in Mexico (or if they do, they're not very common).

I spent a year in Mexico (Tijuana/Rosarito) so I like to think I know a thing or two about Mexican food (though I'm certainly no expert). I've seen the flour tortillas made from scratch before, so I had a pretty good idea of what I would need to make them, but just to be sure I did a quick google search. After combining the information I found on the Internet with what I already knew, here is what I ended up doing.

Flour Tortillas

Ingredients:

• 3 cups of unbleached all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons of baking powder
• 1 teaspoon of salt (I used kosher, but I use kosher salt in everything)
• 3 tablespoons of shortening
• 2 tablespoons of margarine
• 1 1/4 cups of warm water (this is approximate -- you may need to adjust)

Note: If you want "healthier" tortillas, omit the shortening and just use about 4 tablespoons of margarine.

Directions:

1. Mix the dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, salt) in a large bowl.
2. Add the shortening and margarine and use a rubber scraper to cut the shortening and margarine into the flour mixture. If you're super picky about getting this worked in thoroughly, ditch the rubber scraper and use your hands.
3. Add the warm water (doesn't need to be very hot) to the flour mixture a little at a time. Do this in installments so that you don't add to much -- you want the dough to be soft but not sticky.
4. Divide the dough into 12 equal pieces. I highly recommend weighing each piece to ensure they are all the same (if you don't have a digital scale, you need to get one -- it's a kitchen essential). This will make it easier to get consistent cooking time. In the batch I did, each dough ball was about 2.5 ounces.
5. Heat a cast-iron skillet on medium-low heat. You don't want this to be too hot, or your tortiallas will burn. I have an electric stove-top and I kept my skillet around 3 and that seemed to work well.
6. Now's the time to roll out each of your dough balls. Put some flour down on your work area so that the dough doesn't stick. It also helps to lightly dust each ball with flour before you start. Using a rolling pin, start from the center and roll out in every direction until you've make a full circle. Repeat until the tortilla is about the size of your skillet (the dough should be pretty darn thin but not so thin that it has holes or tears when you pick it up).
7. Double-check to make sure your skillet is hot and evenly heated; then place a tortilla in the skillet. Keep a close watch on it as it only takes 10 - 15 seconds on each side to cook. When the first side has lots of nice brown speckles, flip and heat the second side for the about the same amount of time.
   
8. When the tortillas is done, place it in a slightly damp kitchen towel. This will help keep it warm and prevent it from drying out.
9. Once your tortillas are complete, the possibilities are endless. I recommend some shredded cheese, onions, chorizo (spicy mexican sausage) or ham, maybe some bacon bits, salsa verde, and some sour cream all washed down with a Negro Modelo.
10. Don't forget to say a prayer.
11. Then eat and enjoy!

Note: You shouldn't need a spatula or anything to flip the tortillas. Real Mexicans just use their hands, so don't be a whimp.

Part 2 -- The Iron Skillet

The iron skillet is by far the most versitle piece of cookware in your kitcken (if you don't have one, shame on you). Iron skillets are perfect for searing -- no other material heats as evenly or retains its heat as well. There's really nothing you can't do with an iron skillet, and when properly seasoned, you can be very confident that no terrible sticking will occur.

And that is the major point that I wanted to touch on in part two on this blog entry. Several people asked me if the tortillas stick when you cook them in the iron skillet, and the answer is a resounding no! Not one bit!

To be fair, I suspect this is due in large part to the nature of the tortilla (not necessarily to a properly seasoned iron skillet) but a properly seasoned iron skillet certainly can't hurt.

What exactly is "seasoning" or a "seasoned" skillet? Seasoning is the process of applying a thin coat of cooking oil to the entire surface of a piece of cookware (inside and out) and then baking that oil coating into the cookware creating a natrual non-stick surface.

Any descent piece of cast-iron cookware that you buy today will probably be pre-seasoned, which is great, but you should know how to season your cookware yourself anyway. And you should do it once a year at least. Here is how it's done (from Alton Brown's I'm just here for the Food: Chapter 1).

1. Place the pan to be cured (seasoned) on the top rack of a cold oven and place a sheet pan or a baking sheet on the bottom rack (to catch any oil that might drip off).
2. Turn the heat to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
3. When that pan is warm but still touchable, remove it and spoon in a dollop of solid vegetable shortening. As the shortening melts, use a paper towel to smear the fat all over the pan (inside, outside, handle -- everywhere).
4. Place the pan back in the oven, upside down (which prevents excess fat from pooling in the bottom of the pan.
5. Bake for 1 hour, then turn off the heat and let cool for a few minutes. Carefully remove the pan from the oven (AB recommends using Fireproof gloves).
6. Wipe the pan clean, but don't wash it.

That's all there is to it. It's really not that much work, but if you think it's too much effort just for a piece of cookware, consider what AB has to say about it.

"Some folks sneer at the maintenance required, but considering that ours is the very culture that nurtured Sea Monkeys, Chia Pets, and Pet Rocks, taking care of an iron skillet shouldn't be a problem."

And I couldn't agree more, but if you're still not convinced, consider this:

"Iron is very economical, and cooking with it supplies dietary iron, which a lot of us (especially women) tend to run short on."

So there you go! Do it for me, do it for AB, do it for your own good health. And if you cook lots of bacon in your iron skillet, you will in effect be seasoning it every time you cook. Pretty cool huh? In fact, the truth is, cast-iron only gets better with use. That's why those old, old cast-iron pots and pans that may have been handed down to you from parents and grandparents are probably more "non-stick" than any brand new iron skillet you can buy in the store.

So I hoped you've learned something in this blog entry. If you don't yet have an iron skillet, I hope I've encouraged you to consider buying one. I promise that once you get the hang of cooking with it (it does take a little practice) you will absolutely love it.

Comments Welcome.

Christ Is Risen!

Christ is Risen! - Indeed He Is Risen!
Khristos Voskrese! - Voistinu Voskrese!
Christos Anesti! - Alithos Anesti!
Cristo Ha Resucitado! - En Verdad Ha Resucitado!

Really Good Lemonade

Man oh man, I'm doing horrible with my goal of one post per day. Come to think of it, that's not the only goal for which I'm falling short. I've also failed in my quest to get a really really cheap haircut before Pascha. AND I've failed to go bed by my bedtime (9:00pm) during Lent. Actually, I've been failing pretty consistently at that one for years now.

AND my Ultimate Goal of sitting at home, doing absolutely nothing, and receiving big fat checks in the mail.... haven't accomplished that one yet either.

BUT, there is good news. I have another recipe for everyone. And this one is incredibly simple, and really really good.

Really Good Lemonade:

Ingredients:

• The juice from 5 lemons (sans seeds)
• 10 Tablespoons of sugar (it's really not that much)
• About 2 quarts of ice water

Directions:

1. Mix everything together.
2. Say a prayer.
3. Drink and enjoy!

This recipe seriously couldn't be simpler, and it really tastes fantastic! It will be the best lemon-aid you've ever had -- I promise. If you have a juicer, this will be a snap. If you don't (like me) it might take a few extra minutes to squeeze the lemons by hand, but trust me, it's worth it.

Lenten BORCHT

It's been quite a while since my last post because I've been super busy baking Kulich (yum), building a computer (which turned out to be quite a chore indeed), compiling a Linux kernel (what a disaster that turned out to be) and trying to figure out what to make for Pascha (still no idea what I'm going to cook).

So as you can see, I've got plenty of things I can blog about, but my time is limited. For this reason I decided to get back to basics with this post -- a recipe for BORCHT (pronounced "BOORSHT"). If you're wondering why I keep putting BORCHT in capital letters, allow me to enlighten you.

BORCHT is a Russian/Slavic Beet Soup, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot say (or even think) about the word BORCHT without picturing a stout Russian man wearing a heavy coat and one of those furry hats, with a scowl on his face, shouting "BOORSHT." And I just don't feel that "borcht" accurately conveys the tone of voice and pronunciation of that Russian man in my head.

But I digress.

This recipe was given to me by Mat D (thanks Mat D!). However, I should point out that the original recipe came from Matushka (I think she is a Matushka -- someone correct me if I am wrong) Gerry Glagolev.

LENTEN BORCHT

Indregients:

• 2 onions, chopped
• 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
• Vegetable oil for saute
• 1 Small head of cabbage, shredded
• Chopped fresh parsley
• Dill
• 1 - 2 Bay leaves
• 1 Can julienne beets (1 pound)
• 1 Can julienne carrots (1 pound)
• 1 Small can of tomato sauce
• 1 Tablespoon of sugar
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 2 - 3 Pieces of sour salt (in the Kosher section of your grocery store)
• Sour cream (optional)

Directions:

1. Saute onions and garlic in oil until semi-brown.
2. Add cabbage and cook until limp.
3. Add parsley and stir together to blend flavors.
4. Add drained vegetables (reserve juice).
5. Fry vegetables in a little of the onion mixture to flavor.
6. Add salt and pepper. Stir well.
7. Add all liquids (reserved water), juices and tomato sauce. Stir.
8. Add sugar, dill, and bay leaf. Stir.
9. Bring to a boil, then simmer 30 minutes.
10. Serve will a dollop of sour cream (if desired).
11. Say a prayer.
12. Eat and enjoy!

Now, I have to say, I don't particularly like BORCHT (sorry Mat D). I just have a lot of trouble eating anything that is the color of Ox blood. But you should be fair to this dish and give it a try (even if you don't like beets). I tried it, and to be perfectly honest, the beets don't overwhelm the soup. I still can't say I love this soup -- I probably won't ever make it myself, but I know there are lots of BORCHT lovers out there, so I felt it was my duty to spread this recipe (hopefully Matushka Gerry won't mind).

Comments welcome.

Popcorn Explosion

Anyone who knows about my obsession with the Food Network should also know that Alton Brown is hands down my absolute favorite cook. I have his first book, Food + Heat = Cooking, and my wife now has his second book, Food + Mixing x Heat = Baking. He's a bit quirky, but that's why I find his show so entertaining.

Anyway, in his first book, he has a chapter all about Microwave cooking. In it, he explains which foods are best suited for the microwave, and (not surprisingly) popcorn tops the list. In fact, you don't even need any fancy pre-packaged Orville Redenbacher popcorn or anything like that. All you need are a few popcorn kernels and a brown paper bag.

Here is an excerpt from the book:

Pour the popcorn [1/3 cup] into a paper bag and fold the top of the bag over twice to close (each bag fold should be 1/2 inch deep; remember, the kernels need room to pop).

Seal the bag with 2 staples only, making sure to place the staples at least 2 to 3 inches apart.

Put the bag in the microwave oven and cook on high power for 2 to 3 minutes, or until the pops are 5 seconds apart.

Remove the bag from the oven and open it carefully, avoiding the steam. Pour the popcorn into a bowl and drizzle it with butter, then toss with salt and cheese, if desired.

Now, I know this recipe might seem strange (hazardous even) since it says to put staples in the microwave, but Alton Brown insists that it is safe. He even took the effort to add this extra note:

"...despite the fact that I had tested this in no fewer than ten different ovens, and despite the fact that the product was delicious and cheaper than dirt, I received tons of angry mail. People were just sure their houses would explode. No. Relax. It's okay."

He goes on to mention that as long as you're using a microwave with a turntable and you don't place the bag where the staples can rub against the wall, nothing bad will happen.

Now, I tried this idea and it worked just fine. No problems at all, and the best part is, it's super cheap!

Well, a few days ago at work, a co-worker of mine was eating some popcorn and he offered some to the rest of us (our boss included). As we were all taking a short popcorn break, I casually mentioned how it was possible to pop popcorn in a brown paperbag with a little bit of salt (oil if you want).

It turns out my boss actually tried this, but his attempt was not nearly as successful as mine. After a few seconds in the microwave, he heard a very loud POP, and when he opened up the microwave he saw a red-hot plate that had shattered into several pieces. Don't ask me what compelled him to pop the popcorn on a plate! I have no idea why you would do that. I mean, does he normally use a plate to pop popcorn? I highly doubt it, but even if he did, the results should be no different -- there's nothing magic about those pre-packaged bags of popcorn afterall.

Now, I can understand using a pie plate in certain instances if your microwave calls for it. My microwave for example, specifically says to use a microwave safe pie plate when popping popcorn, but it says NOTHING about using a normal everyday dinner plate. If my boss's microwave is like mine, I can sort of understand why he put a plate in there, but I really don't feel like I can take any responsibility for it. I mean, c'mon! It's his microwave; I can' t be responsible if he's not following directions.

So he exploded one of his wife's dinner plates, and I feel a little bad since I gave him the idea. But I think I outlined pretty convincingly why I should not be held responsible.

So don't be afraid to try this recipe. And oh yeah! try adding a little bit of brown sugar to the kernals before popping! It's great.

Comments welcome.

See Steve Cook #3

It's Thursday once again, and that means tomorrow is Presanctified. As always, I made a dish for tomorrow's Pot Luck. I decided to make the "Silky Potato and Broccoli Soup" again, since it turned out pretty well last time.

I have to say though, I'm not thrilled with it this time around. Maybe I put too much salt in it, maybe too many onions -- I don't know, but it definitely isn't wonderful.

I don't mean to give the impression that the soup is horrible -- it isn't. It's just too... something. I don't know; I can't figure out what. Maybe I'll get some feedback tomorrow.

Anyway, in the interest of keeping the pattern of my Thursday "See Steve Cook" post, here are some photos of me making the soup (with a little help from a special guest):

This is a photo of me adding some potatoes to the soup. Or maybe I'm adding broccoli here; I can't remember.

And here is my special guest, Llama, chopping potatoes (with a little help from me, because afterall, he's just learning).

And this is a photo of Emily's new Whinnie the Pooh slippers (natal day present). This photo obviously has nothing to do with the soup I was cooking. Evidentally, I briefly lost control of my photographer.

So one more Thursday down, and we're almost at the 5th Sunday of Great Lent. Can you believe it? It's just been flying by for me. That means I only have one more opportunity to make Vegetable Biryani (excellent Indian dish). Man, I'd better get on the ball. Anyone know what cardamom is? Or where I can find it?

Comments welcome.

Oh! What a surprising surprise for me on my Natal Day

So yesterday was my wife's natal day, and, like a good husband, I remembered this in plenty of time to buy her everything I wanted.... err, I mean everything she wanted.

There are two things about Emily that you need to know if you want to be her friend (or in my case, husband).

1. Emily loves chocolate.
2. Emily loves cookies.

With those two critical pieces of knowledge in mind, I set out to buy her the absolute pefect natal day gift -- a Kitchenaid 500 watt Professional 6 quart stand mixer (in sunflower yellow)!!

It's awesome! However, the more I thought about it, a Kitchenaid 500 watt Professional 6 quart stand mixer is a not exactly the same thing as chocolate (or cookies). This, coupled with that fact that Emily does not cook (she does bake from time to time, and please don't try to tell me that they are the same thing), made me realize that I needed to buy something else if she were going to have a great natal day.

After a few minutes scouring the net, I found the ideal thing -- Alton Brown's new book: "I'm just here for more food (subtitled: food + mixing x heat = baking)."

So I figured I was all set. I mean, what wife wouldn't absolutely love these gifts? With these gifts, Emily will have the ability to make her own cookies or bake a chocolate cake.

Perfect right? Wrong (apparently) because as a friend pointed out to me, though the Kitchenaid 500 watt Professional 6 quart stand mixer does allow you make cookies or bake a chocolate cake, it is not (in and of itself) cookies or chocolate.

But as luck would have it, a very wise Bog Dweller informed me of a web site called goodfortunes.com. They sell giant fortune cookies (for all occassions) covered in chocolate with personalized messages inside.

"THAT'S PERFECT" I thought to myself (and yes, I actually thought the capitalization in my head). It's a cookie and it's chocolate!

So I had the cookie delivered to her work on her natal day, and she was very happy.

I gave her the other two gifts when she got home from work, and yes, she liked them too. And for those of you who may want to criticize me for getting Emily gifts that might seem like they are more for me than they are for her, I say to you: PLBTH!

I stand by my decisions. Emily does not cook -- not one bit, but she loves her sweets and everyone knows that sweets come from baking. I on the otherhand, do not bake -- I only cook.

So I think you can agree that these were ideal gifts for Em. If you don't believe me, just look at these photos of Emily (notice the excitement on her face):

Here is Emily with Alton Brown's new book. Notice how much she loves it. She is practically clutching the book for dear life, not wanting anyone (or anything) to take it from her.

And here is Emily with her brand new Kitchenaid 500 watt Professional 6 quart stand mixer. Isn't she just beautiful (Emily, not the mixer -- but the mixer is rather attractive as well) as you will see in the next photo.

Ah, there she is... in all her Glory. Something's missing though -- she needs a name. Suggestions? We can't have a nameless Kitchenaid 500 watt Professional 6 quart stand mixer now can we?

And so Emily's natal day came to end, almost as quickly as it began. We had we a lot of fun though. We laughed, we cried, we rejoiced over our beautiful Kitchenaid 500 watt Professional 6 quart stand mixer. What more could you ask for on your natal day?

Cooking Sheep (the sheep are cooking, not the act of cooking sheep)

So it appears that 1 and Patrick are not the only animals who enjoy cooking. In fact, I was recently informed that many of 1's distant relatives have taken up cooking as well. They appear to be infatuated with Rachael Ray (which I want to think is strange, but for some reason, I don't).

Here is a message I received via email directly from 8 and 13 (1's cousins):

Hi Steve,

Gregg is letting us use his e-mail to write to you. (We don't have e-mail access -- Gregg and Kira are mean.)

We saw on your blog that our long lost cousin, One, is now cooking! We just wanted to show him that we've been cooking for a while and are quite good at it now! By the way, has One gotten a bath yet? Last time we saw him he desperately needed it........

We tried posting these pictures on the reply screen to your blog, but it wouldn't let us.

In picture #1, you can see how much we love Rachael Ray (we think she is hot!). We especially love her recipe for Stuffed Potatoes with Ham, Thyme, and Gruyere. You can see how 8 is in charge while he reads the recipe to 13, who's cutting the potatoes.

In picture #2, 8 is posing with his most favorite food, the grapefruit!

And in picture #3, 13 is pushing Silk coffee creamer. He loves it with his morning coffee! Yes, he's drinking out of fiesta-ware, and he's not ashamed that he has to sit on an apple to get to the soy-flavored coffee.

Make sure to pass these photos on to One, and feel free to post them on your blog if you want! We'd be happy to do a cook-off with Patrick and One someday.

Thanks,
8 and 13

A giant stuff dog trying to take over my kitchen, sheep obsessed with Rachael Ray... what's next?

A New Chef in Town

We've got trouble people! There's a new chef in town. His name is Patrick the Pup, and he's trying to steal my recipes and pass them off as his own! He's even assembled a team to help him out.

My hidden camera managed to catch some exclusive photos of Patrick and his team caught in the act of ripping off my Spicy Carrot Soup Recipe.

See for yourself if you don't believe me.

This is a photo of Master Chef Patrick stirring the soup. He has no idea that the cameria is on him (obviously).

And here is a picture of Sous Chef, One, chopping carrots for Master Chef Patrick. I'm very dissappointed in One -- switching careers just like that without telling me! He was my "go to guy" every time I had trouble sleeping. Now what am I going to do??

I think it's clear that I have a pretty grave situation on my hands. Not only are these thieves stealing my recipes, they're stealing my ingredients too! Things could get ugly people.

Halushki

Tonight was my first attempt to make Halushki (cabbage, onions, and noodles). It was good, but a little bland -- definitely something missing. If any of the ladies from church read this, I'm sure they'll be able to enlighten me.

If anyone does decide to post a criticism to my recipe though, keep in mind that I didn't follow a recipe. I just guessed, so cut me some slack! Actually, it wasn't all that bad considering it was a guess.

Ingredients:

• 1 head of cabbage, shredded
  
• 3 onions, chopped
• 6 small potatoes, cubed
• A boat-load of margarine (it's not rocket science) + several tablespoons of vegetable oil
  
• Little bit of soy milk (I'm not sure why I put this in honestly)
  
• Salt, Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder (to taste)
• 12 handfulls of egg noodles (my sized hand, uncooked)

Directions:

1. Cook egg noodles according to package directions. Set aside.
   
2. Heat oil and margarine in large pot.
3. Add onions, cabbage, and potatoes and heat on medium heat until cabbage and potatoes are soft (I heated with the lid on for part of the time -- don't ask why, I just do things sometimes).
4. Add a little bit of soy milk (if you think that's a good idea).
5. Once the cabbage and potatoes are soft, add salt, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder (to taste).
6. Add egg noodles and mix thoroughly.
7. Add more pepper.
8. Add even more pepper.
9. You didn't add enough pepper.
10. Say a prayer.
11. Eat and Joy!

Definitely, definitely something missing with this recipe. It's just not like Halushki that Eva made for the Ukranian Festival. I seem to remember her using eggs and whole milk (maybe that's why soy milk found its way into my recipe). But of course, it is Lent, so those ingredients are off limits.

Also, I'm not sure that garlic powder and onion powder are called for, but my halushki was so bland, that I just felt like it needed something extra.

Comments welcome.

PS. Barbara, if you post a comment, BE NICE. Don't yell at me and tell me I did it all wrong, because I'm already well aware that this recipe isn't ideal.

Get out of my Bog

My sister started a blog! It's called "Get Out of my Bog." It's pretty funny; you should check it out.

She is, quite frankly, a much better writer than I am, which kinda sucks -- you know, blog competition, but whatever. I'm happy to support family.

So head on over to Get Out of my Bog and start posting comments.

Silky Potato and Broccoli Soup

Why "Silky" you ask? Because I make it with Soy Milk! Ok, so I didn't use the Silk brand of soy milk, but calling the soup "Soy Milk Potato and Broccoli Soup" just doesn't sounds as good.

This recipe is pretty good -- not great, but definitely worth trying. I think it could be great with a little modification, but I haven't figured out exactly what it needs yet. Suggestions are welcome.

Ingredients:

• 1 can (14oz) of Vegetable Broth
• 1 can of Budweiser
• 1 Cup of water
• 1 red onion, diced
• 3 to 4 medium sized carrots, sliced into discs
• 3 to 4 stalks of celery, chopped
4 medium sized potatoes, cubed
• 1 medium sized broccoli crown, chopped (chop the whole thing as finely as you can, but don't worry about a few big chunks here and there)
3 cups of soy milk
• 3 Tablespoons of margarine
• 2 Tablespoons of olive oil
• 1 Teaspoon of garlic powder
• 1 Teaspoon of Onion powder
• 2 Tablespons of flour
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Add Vegetable both, beer, water, onions and celery to a stock pot. Bring to a boil.
2. Add potatoes, carrots, and broccoli and continue to boil for a few minutes. Then reduce heat to medium-high.
3. Add soy milk, margarine, olive oil.


4. Add flour (preferrably through a sifter so it doesn't clump up), or you might consider mixing the flour into a few tablespoons of the soy milk from the previous step).
5. Add garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper.
6. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 30 to 60 minutes, or until desired thickness.
7. Say a prayer.
8. Eat and enjoy!

Note:
Soy milk should be shaken well before you use it. My soy milk was somewhat frozen, so the first two cups I poured were a little watery. If you shake the soy milk well before pouring, you may not need to add so much. Start conservatively; you can always add more if it isn't creamy enough.

I definitely think this recipe has potential, so I encourage you to give it a try. I'm sure there are plenty of other spices that could make this better, but I wanted to start basic the first time around.

Comments welcome.

Some Genuine Engrish

A while back my friend Katy (or, as she is known down in Mexico, Tyka) emailed me a website called Engrish. They post pictures of foreign products that have English phrases on them, but the words are seldom spelled correctly, and the phrases almost never make any sense. It's pretty funny; I encourage you to check it out.

Anyway, when I was in Tampa the other day, we decided to eat at a Thai restaurant. My sister, being (part Thai/Fire-breathing dragon) wanted to eat her meal with chopsticks, so she asked for a pair, and the waitress was nice enough to bring a pair for each of us.

Lucky day for me! Some very excellent Engrish right on the packaging explaining exactly how one should go about using chopsticks in three easy steps.

1. Tuk under      tnurnb and held firmly
2. Learn how to use your chopsticks Add second chcostick hold it as you hold a pencil
3. Hold tirst chopstick in originai position move the second one up and down Now you can pick up anything:

My personal favorite part of that Enrgish phrase is the : (colon) at the end of step three, but the random spaces between "Tuk under" and "tnurnb" are pretty funny as well.

The cool thing about the Engrish web site is that you can submit genuine Engrish phrases that you find. Maybe I'll submit my findings and see if they make the cut.

Before ending this blog entry, I'll leave you with a very wise Engrish saying:

"We used Enough Milk It. You Will Be Satisfined With The Plentiful Milk Taste." (Engrish of the Day.... April 6, 2005).

Comments welcome.

See Steve Cook #2

Presanctified is on Wednesday this week -- a departure from the traditional Friday service. I think it's becuase Fr. Ted is out of town Friday, but I'm not entirely sure if that's the reason or not.

In any case, what this means for me is that I have to do my weekly pot-luck cooking on Tuesday this week, rather than on Thursday.

I decided to try a dessert this time around -- a twist actually, on a recipe I posted last week: Lenten Banana-Coconut Pie. I liked that recipe, but I opted for some different flavors for the pot-luck version, thinking that it might appeal to a wider range of people.

The recipe? Well it's a sort of Lemon/Vanilla/Coconut/Almond concoction, and I haven't yet come up with a name that I'm happy with. Maybe y'all can help me? I've posted a picture below so you can see what it looks like as well as a list of names I'm considering.

• Lemon Cream Pie with Crushed Almonds and Toasted Coconut
• Coconut-Lemon Dream Pie
• Lemon-Vanilla Dream Whip Pie
• Lemon-Vanilla Pie with Almonds and Toasted Coconut

In trying to keep consistent with last week's "Day before Presanctified" post, here are some actions photos of me hard at work on this delicious dessert:

On the right is a photo of me measuring out the soy milk for the pie filling. Notice how focused I am on the task at hand, not allowing anything to break my concentration -- not even the smoke detector going off because I burned the first batch of coconut I was toasting. You'd be surprised how bad burned coconut smells.

 

And here on the left, is me using sign language to indicate (quite clearly) that no one else is allowd in my kitchen while I'm working on one of my cullinary masterpieces. I believe this is the universal symbol that chefs from all over the world use when they don't want anyone bothering them in the kitchen.

 

I'm excited to see what everyone thinks of this pie. I haven't yet tried it myself, but I have a feeling it's going to be good -- better even than the Banana-Coconut Pie.

Tomorrow, I'll find out what everyone really thinks. If the reaction is as good as it was for the Carrot Soup, I'll be pretty darn happy.

As always, comments welcome.

Vegetable Barley Soup

This is an excellent recipe that I highly recommend (especially if you're looking for a hearty meatless soup).

I can't take credit for the majority of this recipe, but I did add my own personal touches (the beer is obviously mine, not to mention the serrano chilis. Plus, I added a few vegetables that weren't originally called for and left out some that were).

I made this recipe for my family the other day, and it was definitely a hit. The fact that I did it from memory and remembered just about everything made it even more impressive.

Here's the recipe (this yields a HUGE pot of soup by the way, so if you don't have anything bigger than a 6qt stock pot, you might consider cutting this in half).

Ingredients:

• 5 to 6 cups vegetable broth (possibly more, or a few cups of water -- this soup has a tendency to get really thick, which isn't what you want; you want some "soupiness" to your soup, so have extra broth or water on hand and ready to go).
• 1 can or bottle of beer (any kind -- I've used both MDG and Budweiser Select with success, and don't worry, the alcohol cooks out)
• 1/2 teaspoon of red wine vinegar (or more or less, whatever)
• 1 cup of barley
• 1 large can of diced tomatoes (28oz, non-flavored)
• 3 to 4 stalks of celery, chopped
• 1 to 2 medium-sized onions, diced
• 3 to 5 medium-sized carrots, chopped
• 1 or 2 small potatoes, cubed (or leave them out if you want)
• 3 bay leaves
• About 12 cloves of garlic, minced (no joke -- I almost used an entire bulb. Trust me, it's good)
• 1 tablespoon of Basil and/or Parsley (whichever you like better, or both if you want)
• 1 teaspoon of oregano
• 1 tablespoon of kosher salt (or to taste)
• 2 to 3 teaspoons of black pepper
• 1 teaspoon of paprika
• 1 to 2 teaspoons of chili flakes (the more the better I think)
• 3 to 4 serrano chilis, finely diced (jalapeños are ok I guess, but I they're kinda whimpy).  If you are a baby, use jalapeños.
• 1 can of garbanzo beans (including liquid)
• 2 to 3 tablespoons of olive oil (or safflower oil)
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Directions:

1. Add garlic, onions, and oil to a cold stock pot. Put heat on medium-high and let the garlic and onion flavor gradually infuse with the oil (maybe 5 to 15 minutes; just don't burn the garlic).
2. Add in celery and carrots (and potatoes if you're using them); saute for a min or two.
3. Add vegetable broth, diced tomatoes, red wine vinegar and beer.
4. Add barley and garbanzo beans to the liquid, and bring to a boil.
5. Add Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, paprika, basil/parsley, oregano, chili flakes, and serrano chilis.
6. Cover and let simmer for about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally (keep an eye on it with the lid on though, as the abundance of starch in this soup can cause it to boil over).
7. Taste the soup, and add more spices if necessary. If barley or potatoes are not soft enough, cook a little while longer (actually, I recommend just letting it simmer uncovered for as long as possible, as the soup will only get more flavorful the longer you do this).
8. If the soup seems too thick, you can add a cup or two of water or more broth. There are enough spices that some water won't dilute the flavor too much.  
9. Say a prayer.
10. Eat and enjoy.

FINAL NOTE: It's really important to make sure this soup isn't too thick.  You want it to actually feel like soup in terms of its texture.  It shouldn't be like chili, but it also shouldn't be too watered down -- it should be a "hearty" soup.  And it's also really good if you can leave it simmering on low for as long as possible (an hour or so ideally, maybe two).  If you do this, you'll find that you have to stir frequently, and occasionally add a half cup or a cup of water to keep it from getting too thick.

This soup goes really well with almost all kinds of bread, so be sure to have a few slices to serve along with it. Not at all bad with a mild red wine either. I served it with a Shiraz/Cabernet and it was quite good.

Comments Welcome.

Southwest Flight 1065

Our flight was 30 minutes delayed this morning because of a "broken seat." For most people, this isn't a big deal, but if you're like me, the minute you hear "broken seat" you immediately start thinking of all the possible translations:

• Engine trouble
• Problems with the landing gear
• Malfunctioning filange
• NO filange (c'mon people, I know you've all seen the last episode of Friends)

The airline industry can't fool me. "Broken seat" is really just a euphamism -- something to make us feel better about the delay. They wouldn't dare reveal the real problem with the plane. And it's a good thing too, otherwise I probably wouldn't get on.

Once we got on the plane, there were several seats blocked off with signs that read "Do Not Occupy." This lead me to believe that they really did have an issue with the seats after all. Evidentally though, the attempts to fix them were unsuccessful.

Emily and I found seats somewhere neat the back and setled in for what was estimated to be about a 2 hour flight. The flight attendants went through their usual routine where they randomly point in every direction (presumeably so that we know where the emergency exits are), then demonstrate all of the steps required to securely fasten the air with a seatbelt.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think this is a mightly useful thing to know how to do, and I for one am grateful for these potentially life-saving demonstrations.

The Pilot was unlike any pilot I've ever had before. He was uncharicteristicly funny. He made all of the usual announcements, but after mentioning that smoking was not permitted on the flight, he added "smoking in the lavratory is a $2000 fine. If you want to spend that much on a plane ticket, you fly US Air."

When it came to serious stuff though, he was all business. "In the event that we experience a sudden change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the ceiling above you. If you are traveling with a child or someone who needs assistance, put on your own mask first, and then assist the person traveling with you. If you are traveling with more than one child, pick your favorite."

HA! "Pick your favorite." I love that. Very amusing, and it helps put the passengers at ease before take-off.

And eventually we did take off, and after somewhat of a rough ascent, the plane leveled and we had a reasonably comfortable flight. The Vanilla Wafers and package of 7 slightly salted peanuts that constituted our lunch (or more officially, our "in-flight snack") left a little something to be desired, but hey -- Southwest flight, you get what you pay for.

My eyes are blurry now, and my stomach is churning, probably because I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. My body is telling me it's time to nap, and that means it's time to end this blog entry.

Comments welcome.

Flying (what the airlines don't want you to know)

It's 530am now. I'm up so early b/c I have a flight down to Florida in a few hours. I'm not looking forward to this flight very much -- I hate flying and airplane food sucks.

Flying is, incidentally, the most dangerous way to travel (followed by roller coasters, motorcycles, and then walking). A lot of peple don't realize this. Most people believe what the airline industry wants you to believe -- that airplanes are the "safest" way to travel. Yeah, sure. If by "safest" you mean "more dangerous than roller coasters" than yeah, totally!

Anyway, if you're reading this blog, and it's between the hours of 6am and about 1pm on Saturday, April 2nd, please pray for our flight! If you missed the window, start praying for our return flight (it's on Tuesday). Hopefully I'll be able to relax enough to actually enjoy our trip to Florida. Generally, the minute I get to my destintation, I start worrying about the return flight and can't enjoy any of the vacation.

Honestly, we should just drive to Florida -- slightly slower, but much safer.

Comments (and prayers) welcome.

Carrot Success

I declare the Carrot Soup a success! Everyone at the pot luck seemed to like it, and if anyone thought it was horrible, he (or she) politely kept that opinion quiet.

A few people commented on the spiciness, but I assure you, by "FireGirl" standards, this soup was terribly whimpy.

All in all, I'm very pleased with the reaction I received. I have to admit, I was a bit afraid that I'd be left with a giant pot of soup at the end of the night. But alas! This was not so. It was basically all eaten, and I, personally, did not even have a single bowl.

Not bad for a Steve original. Not bad at all.

See Steve Cook

Tonight is Thursday, and every Friday evening during Great Lent, my church has a lenten pot luck dinner after Presanctified Liturgy. I look forward to these dinners because it gives me a chance to try out my lenten recipes on other people who are in search of good lenten food.

Since my Carrot Soup turned out so well on Tuesday night, I decided to make it again for tomorrow. Here are some awesome action photos of me working hard on my Carrot Soup (props to my wife for her crazy photography skills).

Here's me chopping carrots with my brand new Santoku Knife, faster than Emeril! Three pounds of carrots in like 5 minutes -- no joke. And I only cut off two of my fingers this time.

Here's me moving the chopped carrots to a bowl. Exciting isn't it? Why even bother to watch Food Network when you have my blog?

And here is a picture of Emily (my wife) not helping me cook (this is typical). Of course, every time I bring up the fact that I do all of the cooking, she is quick to point out that she does "everything" else. But that just isn't true! I did laundry... once.

So tomorrow, my Spicy Carrot Soup get puts to the test. If it's good enough for the faithful of Saint Andrew Orthodox Church, then I can truely call it a success.

Comments Welcome.